It can be really tough when a co-worker yells at you in front of others. It can make you feel embarrassed, angry, or even scared.
I remember one of my key staff members running upstairs to my office in despair to let me know she was resigning because, in her own words “my co-worker yelled at me in front of everyone”.
I quickly calmed her down and went through these 8 steps I wanted her to take, to handle the situation calmly and professionally.
8 Steps to Manage a Yelling Co-worker
1. Validate feelings, stay calm and take a deep breath
When someone yells at you in front of others, it’s natural to feel upset. It’s important to know that you are not overreacting and that your feelings are real. Try your best to stay calm and composed. Take a deep breath to help you relax and think clearly.
2. Don’t Retaliate or Yell Back
Responding with anger, or yelling back can escalate the situation further. You should also abstain from cursing in the workplace. It’s important to maintain your professionalism and not stoop to their level. Your response will be noticed and rewarded by your employer and management. Employers can often see who the ones overstepping their boundaries at work are.
3. Address the Issue Privately
Once you’ve calmed down, approach the co-worker privately to discuss what happened. Your communication style and modifiers is important here. Use “I” statements to express how their yelling made you feel without accusing or blaming them. Remember it’s all about doing the smart thing not the right thing.
Here’s an example of the “I” statement.
“I felt embarrassed and disrespected when you interrupted me during that meeting and yelled at me in front of our colleagues. It made me uncomfortable and affected my ability to focus on the tasks at hand.”
In this example, I asked her to use the “I statement” to express her feelings and the impact of the behaviour without blaming or accusing the other person. This type of communication promotes open dialogue, encourages understanding, and fosters constructive resolution of conflicts or issues. It also invites genuine apologies rather than backhanded apologies.
4. Document the Incident
Keep a record of the incident, including what was said, who was present, and how it made you feel. This documentation may be useful if the situation escalates or if we need to formally report the behaviour. It’s worth noting that as an employer, I also documented the incident.
5. Stay Professional
Throughout the process, prioritize professionalism and respect for yourself and others. Focus on finding a solution that promotes a positive work environment and healthy relationships with your co-workers.
6. Seek Support from your Employer / Supervisor
If the yelling continues or if you feel uncomfortable addressing the issue directly, consider reaching out to your supervisor for guidance and support. They can help mediate the situation and ensure a respectful work environment.
7. Know Your Rights
Yelling in the workplace can be considered harassment, depending on the severity and frequency of the behaviour. Familiarize yourself with your company’s policies on workplace conduct and harassment to understand your rights and options.
8. Evaluate Your Options
If the situation does not improve or if you continue to feel unsafe or uncomfortable at work, you may need to consider other options such as transferring to a different department or seeking employment elsewhere. It may be time to send off that polite resignation email. Your well-being and mental health are important.
In conclusion, being yelled at by a co-worker in front of others can be distressing, but it’s important to handle the situation calmly, address the issue professionally, and seek support when needed. Harassment in the form of yelling is not acceptable in the workplace, and you have the right to take steps to address and resolve such behaviour.
These were the simple steps I took her through. The importance of validating her feelings was critical in the first instance. She maintained that he yelled and belittled her in front of everyone and tha it was a sign that her coworker was competing with her. This helped us move on to the next steps. We documented the incident together and she opted to address the issue privately. This was enough to resolve the issue and thankfully it did not repeat. It took professionalism, patience, and calmness. I was ecstatic with the result as it did not require further intervention.
Is yelling in the workplace harassment?
Yelling in the workplace can be considered a form of harassment, depending on the circumstances. Harassment is generally defined as unwanted or unwelcome behaviour that creates a hostile or intimidating environment for the victim. This can include verbal abuse, threats, insults, or yelling. Either way you should take measures to protect your energy and yourself from this toxic behaviour.
When a co-worker yells at you in front of others, it can create a hostile and uncomfortable atmosphere, affecting your well-being and performance at work. If the yelling is targeted at you repeatedly or is severe in nature, it may constitute harassment. At times yelling especially in front of others can be a sign of your coworker trying to undermine you – making you feel inferior or embarassed.
However, it’s important to note that not all instances of yelling may automatically qualify as harassment. Sometimes, people may raise their voices due to frustration of incompetence, stress, or disagreements, which may not necessarily be intended to harass or intimidate. Factors such as frequency, severity, intent and impact should be taken into consideration when asserting harassment. A good start is to run through company policies, as many organizations would have clear guidelines on what is acceptable behaviour and consequences for harassment.
Overall, while not all instances of yelling may amount to harassment, it’s crucial to address any behaviour that creates a hostile or intimidating workplace environment. Every employee deserves to work in a professional and respectful setting free from harassment or bullying.
Can you get fired for yelling at a coworker?
Whether or not you can get fired for yelling at a coworker depends on several factors. As mentioned above these include intent, the severity of the incident, company policies, and your employment contract.
As an employer I would look at all these things before terminating someones contract.
Is yelling in the workplace a form of bullying?
Yelling in the workplace can be considered a form of verbal abuse or bullying, especially if it is done repeatedly, aggressively, and with the intent to intimidate or belittle someone. Workplace bullying encompasses a range of behaviours aimed at causing harm, distress, or discomfort to an individual or group of individuals.
Employers have a responsibility to address and prevent workplace bullying by implementing policies. Moreover, they should provide training to employees, promote a culture of respect, and take appropriate action when incidents occur. Additionally, employees should also be aware of their rights. Furthermore, they should speak up against bullying behavior and seek support from management if they experience or witness bullying in the workplace. There are effective ways to deal with office politics.
Creating a safe, fair and equal workplace and respectful work environment benefits everyone and enhances productivity and morale.
I know that this was my number one priority and was one of the main reasons my business was successful. I had a zero tolerance for any sort of condescending behaviour which included belittling, patronizing, undermining. My team were my everything.
