A covert bully operates in subtle, deceptive ways, making their actions difficult to recognize or prove. Unlike an obvious or overt bully who is aggressive and confrontational, a covert bully appears polite and professional on the surface while secretly working to undermine others. Their tactics create confusion, isolation, and self-doubt in their target, all while maintaining a spotless reputation with colleagues and management.
Having personally been on the receiving end of covert bullying, and having witnessed it as an employer, I can confidently say that it is one of the most damaging and toxic forms of workplace behavior. The subtlety of this conduct often makes it hard to address, and its effects on individuals and the work environment are profound. As both a victim and a witness, I believe it’s crucial to shine a light on covert bullying and take steps to prevent it from thriving in any workplace.
Here’s what we will cover:
- What is Covert Bullying?
- Why Do People Bully Others?
- Covert Bullying vs. Overt Bullying
- How to Identify a Covert Bully & Their Behaviour
- The Impact of Covert Bullying
- Examples of Covert Bullying
- How to Deal with Covert Bullying in the Workplace
- How Bullying is Excused
- Gaslighting in the Workplace
- Why Leadership Must Take Action & Prevent Covert Bullying
- The Role of Bystanders in Combating Covert Bullying
- Legal Implications of Covert Bullying
- When is it Not Bullying?
- Final Thoughts
What is Covert Bullying?
To understand covert bullying in the workplace, lets first break down the two key words:
- Covert means hidden, secret, or not openly displayed. It is the opposite of overt, which means open, obvious, and easily seen.
- Bullying refers to repeated, intentional behaviour that harms, intimidates, or manipulates another person.
When bullying is covert, it means the harmful behaviour is subtle, indirect, and difficult to prove. Unlike overt bullying, which may involve yelling, insults, or physical aggression, covert bullying at work happens in ways that are not immediately obvious.
Why Do People Bully Others?
Bullying often stems from a variety of personal and social factors. Some individuals bully others as a way to feel more powerful or in control, particularly if they feel insecure or inadequate in other areas of their lives. It may be a coping mechanism for their own unresolved issues, such as past trauma, low self-esteem, or a lack of empathy. Empathy is a key component of social awareness, which is, in turn, a crucial part of emotional intelligence.
Bullying can also be a learned behavior, often influenced by family dynamics, peer pressure, or cultural norms that normalize aggressive actions. In some cases, bullies target others because of differences, such as appearance, status, or personality, believing that diminishing someone else will elevate their own position.
Regardless of the reasons, it’s crucial to recognize that bullying is never acceptable, and those who engage in it often need support to understand and change their harmful behavior.
Covert Bullying vs. Overt Bullying
Bullying in the workplace can be either overt (obvious and direct) or covert (subtle and hidden), but both can be equally damaging.
Overt bullying is easy to recognize because it involves direct aggression, such as shouting, insults, threats, or public humiliation. For example, a coworker who yells at someone in front of everyone or a coworker who openly mocks someone’s ideas in meetings is engaging in overt bullying.
Covert bullying, on the other hand, is more subtle and manipulative, making it harder to detect or prove. Instead of direct insults, a covert bully might spread rumours, exclude someone from important meetings, or give them false information to set them up for failure. For instance, a team leader might “accidentally” leave an employee out of an important email chain, causing them to miss deadlines and appear incompetent.
While overt bullying is easier to report and address, covert bullying often flies under the radar, making it more dangerous in the long run. Both forms can create a toxic work environment, leading to stress, anxiety, and a decline in productivity.
How Covert Bullying Happens in the Workplace
The Behaviour of a Covert Bully
Covert bullying in the workplace can take many forms. It is often psychological and emotional, making it harder for victims to recognize or report.
A covert bully is someone who engages in subtle, indirect, and manipulative behaviour to intimidate or undermine others. Unlike an overt bully, who openly insults or threatens, a covert bully operates in the shadows, making their actions hard to detect and prove.
Here are some common tactics:
1. Exclusion and Isolation
A person may be deliberately left out of meetings, social events, or important conversations. Favoritism might be openly shown to some while others are completely excluded. Their contributions may be ignored, making them feel invisible.
2. Spreading Rumours
Gossip and false information can damage a person’s reputation, causing others to distrust or dislike them. The bully may act innocent while secretly encouraging the spread of lies.
3. Undermining Work and Confidence
A covert bully may subtly sabotage a colleague by giving incorrect information, setting unrealistic deadlines, or withholding resources. This makes the victim look incompetent.
4. Passive-Aggressive Behaviour
Instead of directly attacking, the bully may use sarcasm, backhanded compliments, or silent treatment including not greeting their coworker to express hostility.
5. Credit-Stealing and Blame-Shifting
A bully may take credit for someone else’s work while blaming others for mistakes. This damages the victim’s professional image.
6. Micro-Management and Control
Excessive control, unnecessary criticism, or constant monitoring or micromanaging can be a form of covert bullying, making the victim feel powerless.
7. Sabotaging Career Growth
A bully might prevent a colleague from advancing by blocking promotions, giving bad performance reviews, or discouraging professional development opportunities.
8. Fake Friendliness & Pretending to be Innocent
A bully pretends to be supportive in public but manipulates in private and ensures there are no witnesses to their behaviour.
They Smile and act nice while secretly working against the victim. They may even offer “help” that is actually meant to create dependency or failure.
9. Report to Management/Supervisors
They act as messengers to management which allows them to control narratives, shaping how others are perceived while making themselves look loyal and competent.
How to Identify a Covert Bully
- Their actions are subtle but repetitive.
- They often play the victim or the innocent when confronted.
- They make the victim feel confused, isolated, or insecure.
- They avoid direct confrontation, preferring behind-the-scenes tactics.
Covert bullying is dangerous because it slowly wears down the victim’s confidence and professional standing without obvious evidence. Recognizing these behaviours is the first step in protecting yourself and addressing the situation.
The Impact of Covert Bullying at Work
The effects of covert bullying in the workplace can be severe, including:
- Increased stress and anxiety
- Loss of self-confidence
- Difficulty concentrating
- Lower job performance
- Feeling unsafe or unwelcome at work
- Increased absenteeism
- High staff turnover
A toxic work environment affects not only the victim but also the entire team, leading to lower morale and productivity.
What is an Example of Covert Bullying?
Imagine Sarah, a hardworking employee, who starts noticing changes in how her manager treats her.
- She is suddenly left out of important meetings.
- When she asks questions, her manager avoids eye contact and gives vague answers.
- Her ideas are ignored in meetings, but later, someone else presents them as their own.
- She overhears colleagues whispering about her, but when she asks, they pretend nothing is wrong.
- Despite her strong performance, she receives unfair negative feedback on her review.
Sarah cannot directly prove that she is being bullied, but the constant subtle mistreatment affects her confidence, motivation, and mental health.
How to Deal with Covert Bullying in the Workplace
1. Recognize the Signs
If you often feel excluded, manipulated, or unfairly treated, you may be experiencing covert bullying at work.
2. Document Everything
Keep a record of incidents, including dates, times, and specific behaviours. Evidence can help if you need to report the situation.
3. Stay Professional
Do not retaliate. Respond with calmness and professionalism. This helps protect your reputation.
4. Seek Support
Talk to a trusted colleague, mentor, or HR representative. A strong support system can help you navigate the situation.
5. Set Boundaries
If possible, limit interactions with the bully and stand up for yourself. Be assertive not aggressive.
6. Report the Behaviour
If the bullying continues, report it to HR or a manager. Provide clear examples and documentation to support your case.
How Is Bullying Excused?
Workplace bullying, especially covert bullying, is often dismissed or excused in various ways. Many bullies disguise their actions as professionalism, tough management, or workplace culture, making it difficult for victims to call them out.
Some common excuses include:
- “That’s just their leadership style.” – Used to defend a boss who micromanages, isolates, or belittles employees.
- “They’re just joking.” – A common excuse for passive-aggressive remarks or exclusionary behaviour.
- “This is a competitive environment.” – Used to justify toxic behaviours like credit-stealing, manipulation, and sabotage.
- “They didn’t mean it that way.” – Dismisses the victim’s experience and allows the bully to continue unchecked.
- “You’re being too sensitive.” – Gaslighting the victim into believing their feelings are invalid or exaggerated.
By recognizing these excuses, employees and leaders can take bullying more seriously and stop allowing harmful behaviour to be disguised as normal workplace dynamics.
Gaslighting: A Common Tactic of Covert Bullies
Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation technique where a person makes someone doubt their own reality, memory, or perception. It is a key strategy used by covert bullies in the workplace to control and undermine their victims.
How Does Gaslighting Work in the Workplace?
A covert bully will subtly manipulate situations to make their target feel confused, uncertain, and mentally exhausted. Their goal is to make the victim question their own abilities and even their sanity. This is known as gaslighting.
Signs of Gaslighting in the Workplace
1. Denying Past Conversations or Agreements
- A manager or colleague says, “I never told you to do that,” when they clearly did.
- The bully changes details of an agreement and insists you remember wrong.
2. Twisting the Truth
- If you confront them about something they did, they flip the story to make you look like the problem.
- They downplay your concerns, saying, “You’re overreacting,” or “You’re being too sensitive.”
3. Sabotaging and Then Blaming You
- Giving you wrong information or unclear instructions and later blaming you for mistakes.
- Pretending they never gave you the task in the first place.
4. Playing the Victim
- Acting like they are the one being attacked when you question them.
- Saying things like, “I was just trying to help, and you’re making a big deal out of it.”
5. Creating Confusion
- Giving contradictory instructions and then making you feel stupid for asking for clarification.
- Acting friendly one moment and dismissive the next, keeping you off balance.
Gaslighting is a powerful tool used by covert bullies to manipulate and control. Recognizing the signs early can help you protect yourself from its harmful effects.
Why Leadership Must Take Action Against Covert Bullying
Leaders play a crucial role in maintaining a healthy workplace, and ignoring covert bullying can have serious consequences. When this behaviour goes unchecked, it creates a toxic environment where morale drops, productivity suffers, and talented employees leave due to stress and frustration. Covert bullying damages teamwork, erodes trust, and fosters a culture of fear rather than collaboration.
If leadership fails to address the issue, it signals to employees that manipulation, deceit, and exclusion are acceptable workplace behaviours, which can ultimately harm the company’s reputation and performance. By actively identifying, addressing, and preventing covert bullying, leaders can ensure a fair, respectful, and high-performing work environment where employees feel safe, valued, and motivated to contribute their best.
Preventing Covert Bullying in the Workplace
Prevention is key to managing covert bullying in the workplace. Clear policies and training about acceptable behaviour can help prevent bullying from taking root. Leaders must foster an environment where open communication, respect, and inclusivity are prioritized, and employees are encouraged to speak up when they feel uncomfortable or mistreated.
It’s also important for organizations to take proactive steps by providing confidential reporting channels and support systems for employees who may be experiencing covert bullying. Leadership should consistently check in with employees and regularly assess workplace culture to ensure that any signs of bullying are addressed swiftly. Additionally, providing training for employees on recognizing covert bullying behaviours and teaching them how to respond can help create a more aware and empathetic work environment.
By creating a culture of openness, respect, and accountability, workplaces can significantly reduce the likelihood of covert bullying taking hold and ensure that all employees feel safe and valued.
The Role of Bystanders in Combating Covert Bullying
Bystanders—the colleagues who witness bullying without directly experiencing it—can also play an important role in addressing covert bullying. In many cases, people may not speak out against covert bullying due to fear of retaliation or not knowing how to intervene. However, when bystanders recognize subtle bullying and take action, it can make a big difference in stopping the harmful behaviour.
Bystanders can act in a variety of ways:
- Support the victim by privately offering empathy and understanding.
- Speak up in meetings or conversations where the bullying is occurring, calling attention to the inappropriate behaviour.
- Report the behaviour to HR or management, especially if they have witnessed bullying first-hand.
When bystanders stand up against covert bullying, it sends a message that this behaviour is not acceptable and helps create a more positive and supportive workplace culture.
Legal Implications of Covert Bullying
In many countries, workplace bullying—whether overt or covert—can have legal implications if it leads to harassment or discrimination. Employees who face continuous bullying may have legal recourse, especially if the bullying involves protected characteristics such as race, gender, age, or disability.
It’s important for organizations to recognize that covert bullying can create legal risks, including lawsuits or regulatory violations if not addressed properly. By taking immediate action to investigate claims and prevent further bullying, employers can protect both their employees’ well-being and their organization from potential legal consequences.
When Is It Not Bullying?
Not all workplace conflicts or criticisms qualify as bullying. Constructive feedback, disagreements, and high work expectations are not bullying when they are handled professionally and fairly.
For example:
- A manager giving honest feedback about an employee’s performance in a private, respectful manner is not bullying.
- A colleague disagreeing with your idea in a meeting and providing logical reasons is not bullying.
- Strict deadlines and high work standards are not bullying if they apply to everyone and are not used to target a specific individual unfairly.
Bullying involves deliberate harm, manipulation, or exclusion, whereas normal workplace challenges are part of a professional environment. It’s important to differentiate between fair criticism and targeted harassment.
Final Thoughts
Covert bullying in the workplace is a serious issue that requires attention from both leadership and employees. Covert bullies are dangerous because their tactics are hidden, deceptive, and difficult to prove, but its impact on victims and the organization can be profound.
They create a toxic work environment where victims feel confused, isolated, and powerless.
By understanding the signs of covert bullying, providing support for those who are affected, and fostering a culture of respect and accountability, workplaces can create a safer and more productive environment for everyone. Addressing covert bullying not only protects employees’ mental health but also contributes to a more positive and effective workplace culture, benefiting the entire organization.
✊ Let’s stamp this behavior out and stop normalizing it.
