Dealing with a coworker who actively undermines you can be both frustrating and challenging. Being undermined at work not only affects your job performance but can also diminish your confidence and create a negative work environment.
Workplace dynamics can be challenging, especially when you feel that a coworker undermines you. When you’re undermined at work, it’s often subtle, yet it can create tension, especially if your coworkers ignore you or repeatedly dismiss your input.
Let’s take a look at what undermining behaviour entails, provide examples, and explore practical steps on how to deal with a coworker who undermines you.
What is Undermining Behaviour in the Workplace?
Undermining behaviour in the workplace refers to actions by coworkers aimed at diminishing your authority, reputation, or confidence. This behaviour can be subtle, like withholding information or ignoring your input, or overt, such as taking credit for your ideas. Being undermined at work can make you feel unsupported and undervalued, impacting your productivity and mental well-being.
Examples of Undermining Behaviour
Recognizing when you are being undermined at work is crucial for addressing the issue effectively. Here are a few examples of being undermined at work:
- Constant Interruptions in Meetings: A coworker consistently interrupts or speaks over you, preventing you from sharing your ideas.
- Taking Credit for Your Work: If someone else presents your ideas as their own, it’s a clear sign of undermining.
- Ignoring or Excluding You: When co-workers ignore you or leave you out of important discussions, it can be damaging to your role in the team.
- Public Criticism: Some coworkers might make negative comments about your work in public settings, causing others to doubt your abilities.
- Yelling at a coworker: Yelling at someone in front of everyone during a meeting can undermine their position, making them feel inferior or embarrassed.
Is sabotaging undermining?
Yes, sabotaging is a form of undermining behavior, but it is generally considered more severe. While both terms involve actions that negatively affect someone’s work or reputation, the key difference lies in the intent and the level of harm caused.
Undermining:
- Definition: Undermining typically refers to actions or behaviors that subtly diminish or weaken someone’s efforts, ideas, or authority. It can be done through tactics like dismissing ideas, taking credit for someone else’s work, or undermining their confidence, often in a passive or indirect way.
- Examples: Constantly interrupting in meetings, belittling someone’s achievements, spreading gossip, or giving backhanded compliments.
Sabotaging:
- Definition: Sabotaging involves deliberately obstructing or damaging someone’s work or success, often with the intent to cause failure or harm. This goes beyond the subtle undermining and is often more malicious or direct.
- Examples: Deliberately providing incorrect information, tampering with someone’s work or project, spreading lies to their boss or colleagues in order to damage their reputation, or actively working to make sure they fail in their tasks or career.
Why Sabotaging is More Harmful:
- Intent: Sabotaging is often more intentional and done with the aim of causing harm or gaining a personal advantage. It’s a clear attack on someone’s ability to succeed.
- Impact: The impact of sabotage can be much more immediate and serious, affecting someone’s career, job performance, or reputation in ways that may be difficult to repair.
Are Both Harmful?
Both undermining and sabotaging can create toxic work environments and undermine trust and collaboration. However, sabotage tends to have more immediate consequences and is often seen as more malicious. In any case, both behaviors should be addressed in the workplace to ensure a healthy and supportive environment.
What to Do When a Work Colleague Undermines You?
If you find yourself undermined at work, there are several strategies you can use to manage the situation effectively:
- Document Specific Incidents: Keep a record of instances where you feel undermined, noting dates, times, and any witnesses. This documentation can be helpful if you need to raise the issue formally.
- Address the Behaviour Privately: Sometimes, having a direct conversation with the coworker can be effective. Politely explain how their actions affect you and request that they respect your contributions.
- Focus on Your Work: Maintain a high standard of work to reinforce your credibility. By consistently delivering quality results, you can mitigate the effects of undermining behaviour.
How to Deal with a Coworker Who Undermines You
Learning how to deal with coworkers who undermine you involves a mix of personal resilience and practical actions:
- Set Boundaries: Politely assert your needs and boundaries. For example, if someone consistently interrupts, you could say, “I’d like to finish my thought before we move on.”
- Seek Support from Colleagues: Build positive relationships with other coworkers. A supportive network can help counterbalance the negative impact of an undermining coworker.
- Report to Management or HR if Necessary: If the behaviour persists, consider speaking to your supervisor or HR. Provide specific examples of how the coworker’s actions are affecting your performance.
How to Deal with an Undermining Employee?
If you’re a manager facing an undermining employee, address the behaviour directly but diplomatically. Start by privately discussing the specific actions you’ve observed and explain the impact on team dynamics. Encourage them to express any issues they may have and work together to resolve the conflict professionally.
How Do You Professionally Tell Someone They Are Overstepping?
When a coworker’s behaviour is affecting your ability to work, it may be necessary to address their overstepping boundaries. Use neutral, non-accusatory language to express your perspective. For example, you might say, “I feel that my contributions are not being fully considered. Could we find a way to ensure everyone has a chance to participate?” This approach lets you communicate your feelings without escalating the situation.
Is Being Undermined at Work Bullying?
In some cases, yes.
Although undermining behaviour doesn’t always meet the legal or official criteria for workplace bullying, it often falls under the umbrella of passive-aggressive or manipulative actions that create a hostile work environment.
When a coworker undermines you regularly and persistently, it can become a form of bullying, especially if it’s intended to intimidate, belittle, or isolate you. Workplace bullying can create a hostile environment and should be addressed with the help of HR or management if it becomes a repeated pattern.
When coworkers ignore you or belittle your contributions, it can be a form of workplace bullying. Recognizing this is essential because such behaviour can harm both mental health and job satisfaction.
Why Do Coworkers Undermine Each Other?
There are several reasons why a coworker might undermine you. These reasons can vary from professional rivalry to personal insecurity, and understanding the motive can help you respond more effectively.
- Professional competition: In highly competitive workplaces, some individuals feel they must stand out by making others look less competent.
- Personal insecurities: If a coworker feels insecure about their abilities, they may undermine others to protect their self-esteem. At times it can also signal a sign of a jealous coworker.
- Power dynamics: Some coworkers may crave control or authority and use undermining tactics to keep others “in check.”
- Misunderstanding or bias: Sometimes, a coworker’s actions stem from unintentional confirmation bias or miscommunication.
Identifying why a coworker undermines you can be helpful in choosing the right strategy to deal with them.
What to Do When Undermining Feels Like Gaslighting
Sometimes, undermining behaviour borders on gaslighting, where a coworker’s actions make you doubt your own contributions or perceptions. For example, they might constantly correct you in meetings or question your expertise to make you feel insecure. If this happens, take a step back and evaluate the facts. Consider documenting each instance with as much objectivity as possible, focusing on the actions rather than emotions. Gaslighting tactics are meant to erode confidence, so staying grounded in your strengths can help combat this.
Focusing on Self-Improvement to Counteract Negative Effects
Being undermined at work can be draining, so it’s essential to find ways to build your own confidence outside of these interactions. Focusing on skill-building, taking on challenging projects, or even seeking mentorship can remind you of your value and keep your career moving forward. When your focus remains on growth rather than the actions of an undermining coworker, their behaviour loses its power over your self-perception.
Is Being Undermined at Work a Career Blocker?
Though undermining behaviour is frustrating, it doesn’t have to become a career blocker. Addressing these issues head-on and keeping a professional attitude can often turn the situation around. Moreover, taking steps to boost your own confidence, such as setting clear goals and consistently contributing quality work, can help you build resilience against negative influences.
When to Consider Changing Your Work Environment
If undermining behaviours persist despite your best efforts to address them, and if management or HR does not step in to support you, it may be time to assess whether this work environment is a good fit for you. Some workplaces may have an entrenched culture where undermining is common and tolerated. Prioritizing your well-being and career growth is essential, and sometimes moving to a more supportive environment can provide the fresh start you need to thrive.
I know it feels unfair to consider changing your job simply because others are acting unprofessionally. Ideally, the responsibility should fall on management to address poor behaviour and create a supportive, respectful work environment. Here are a few reasons, however, why some people ultimately decide to change roles when faced with persistent undermining, and why this choice is not about giving up but rather about prioritizing one’s own well-being and career growth:
Protecting Mental and Emotional Health:
Persistent undermining behaviour can take a toll on your mental health, no matter how resilient you are. If you find yourself constantly stressed or anxious at work, it can impact both your personal life and your performance. If the workplace culture itself enables or ignores this behaviour, it may be more productive to seek a positive environment where you can thrive without the drain of constant conflict.
Focusing on Career Growth:
If poor behaviour is stifling your progress—especially if promotions, leadership roles, or recognition seem unattainable due to a coworker’s influence—leaving isn’t “giving up” but taking control of your career. A positive environment can offer growth opportunities that might not be possible in a place where someone actively undermines your contributions.
Avoiding a Toxic Culture:
In some workplaces, a pattern of undermining and competition among coworkers is embedded in the culture. If you find that even after addressing the issue or involving management, the behaviour persists, it may reflect a broader issue that’s unlikely to change. You should look at ways to protect your energy from toxic coworkers. Seeking a healthier culture can be empowering, as it aligns with environments that prioritize respect and teamwork.
Reclaiming Personal Power:
Deciding to change jobs is ultimately about choosing what’s best for your professional happiness and personal integrity. Staying in a role where others’ poor behaviour holds sway over your experience can feel like giving up control. By choosing a different environment, you’re proactively designing a career that aligns with your values.
Opening New Doors to Fulfillment:
Moving to a new role can also be an opportunity to redefine your career path, develop new skills, or find a fresh start in a place that values what you bring to the table. Many people find that the step they took to leave an undermining situation ultimately led them to a better and more fulfilling opportunity.
In summary, leaving a job due to poor behaviour by others isn’t about letting them “win.” Rather, it’s about prioritizing your own well-being and finding a workplace where your contributions are respected and appreciated. It’s a decision rooted in self-respect and the understanding that a supportive work environment is essential for both success and happiness.
Summing Up
Once you’ve recognized and addressed undermining behaviour, try to focus on building a positive professional image. Whether through networking, continuing education, or seeking out new projects, reinforce your value and dedication to your career.
In summary, when you feel a coworker undermines you, it’s essential to approach the situation with professionalism and composure. Understand the nature of undermining behaviour, address it calmly and directly, and set firm boundaries. If necessary, involve management or HR. While dealing with undermining can be challenging, responding strategically can protect your well-being and ensure you maintain a strong, respected position in the workplace.
