Backbiting in the office is a quiet destroyer of morale, productivity, and workplace relationships. It might not always be loud or dramatic. Sometimes it takes the form of whispered comments, private messages, or sarcastic jokes when the target isn’t around. But over time, backbiting erodes trust and creates a toxic work environment.
Here’s what we will cover:
- What is backbiting in the workplace?
- Examples of backbiting
- The difference between backbiting and backstabbing
- 15 Common causes of backbiting in the workplace
- Effects of backbiting on individuals and teams
- How to deal with backbiting at work
- How managers can stop backbiting
- Final thoughts
What Is Backbiting in the Workplace?
Backbiting refers to speaking negatively about someone behind their back, usually with the intent to damage their reputation, influence others’ opinions, or create division. In many cases, it’s a form of covert bullying in the workplace — subtle, sneaky, but emotionally damaging.
It may sound like harmless office gossip, but it can quickly become malicious gossip in the workplace, especially when it spreads unverified claims or includes cruel remarks.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs shows us that people need to feel respected (esteem) and connected (belonging) to thrive. Backbiting can undermine these needs, making it harder for individuals to perform well or reach their full potential. Tony Robbins takes this further by identifying six core human needs: certainty, variety, significance, connection and love, growth, and contribution. When respect and connection are damaged by negative behaviors like backbiting, important needs like significance (feeling valued) and connection (feeling close to others) are left unmet, which can seriously affect motivation and well-being at work.
Examples of Backbiting at Work
Backbiting doesn’t always look the same. Here are some common examples:
- A coworker says, “She only got that promotion because she sucks up to the boss” — but never says anything to their face.
- An employee repeatedly makes sarcastic jokes about a colleague when they’re not present.
- A team member accuses another of making mistakes behind closed doors, saying things like, “I didn’t want to say it in front of them, but they’re always either late with their work, or making constant mistakes.”
- You hear someone say, “He’s just not leadership material,” while making no effort to provide honest feedback to that person directly.
All these behaviours might not hurt the target immediately — after all, they’re not meant to hear them. But over time, the effects leak through.
People start treating the target differently, distancing themselves, or questioning their abilities based on what they’ve heard. This shift in workplace dynamics can leave the target feeling undermined, emotionally drained, and belittled at work — even if they don’t know exactly what’s being said behind their back.
Backbiting vs. Backstabbing – What’s the Difference?
Although the terms are often used interchangeably, there’s a subtle but important difference:
1. What is Backbiting?
Backbiting means speaking negatively about someone when they are not present. It usually involves gossip, criticism, or spreading rumors. Backbiting may not directly harm the person being talked about, but it creates a toxic environment and can damage reputations over time.
Key Features of Backbiting:
- It involves talking behind someone’s back.
- Usually done casually or socially, like in office gossip or friend circles.
- It may include true or false information.
- It’s often passive – the person doing it doesn’t confront the person they’re talking about.
- Can be malicious, but sometimes it’s just thoughtless or careless.
Example of Backbiting:
Two coworkers talking:
“I can’t believe Sarah got the promotion. She’s always late and barely does anything.”
Sarah doesn’t hear this, and the speakers don’t say anything to her face, but the tone and intent are negative.
2. What is Backstabbing?
Backstabbing is more serious and hurtful. It means betraying someone who trusts you, often to get ahead or gain something. While backbiting is just talk, backstabbing involves actions or sabotage that harm the person in a direct or indirect way.
Key Features of Backstabbing:
- It includes betrayal or secret actions against someone.
- The person doing it often pretends to be friendly or supportive.
- It is intentional and meant to hurt, damage, or manipulate.
- Usually involves breaking trust.
- Can result in real consequences for the victim (job loss, missed opportunity, ruined relationship).
Example of Backstabbing:
A friend who acts supportive but secretly tells your boss lies to make you look bad and get your job.
Key Differences at a Glance:
| Aspect | Backbiting | Backstabbing |
|---|---|---|
| Nature | Gossip or negative talk | Betrayal and harmful actions |
| Intent | May be casual or malicious | Always intentional and harmful |
| Method | Talking behind someone’s back | Pretending to be loyal while betraying |
| Impact | Harms reputation, spreads negativity | Damages trust, relationships, careers |
| Common Settings | Social groups, workplaces | Close relationships, professional circles |
| Example | “She’s so lazy” (behind her back) | “I support you” then report you to HR |
Causes of Backbiting in the Workplace
Backbiting in the workplace can arise from various causes, often rooted in poor communication, competition, or dissatisfaction. Here are some common causes:
1. Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem
People who feel inadequate or threatened by others may gossip or speak poorly behind someone’s back to make themselves feel superior or to divert attention from their own shortcomings.
2. Jealousy and Envy
Colleagues who are envious of others’ success, promotions, or praise may resort to backbiting as a way to undermine them.
3. Lack of Professionalism
In workplaces without strong professional standards or a respectful culture, backbiting may become a norm due to the absence of accountability.
4. Poor Management and Leadership
Managers who avoid addressing issues can create an environment where gossip grows. When leaders fail to address conflicts or favouritism, employees may resort to gossip and backbiting as an outlet for frustration or to gain leverage.
5. Workplace Competition
Highly competitive environments can foster resentment. Some individuals may backbite to sabotage others’ chances of advancement or to improve their own position.
6. Unresolved Conflicts
When issues between coworkers aren’t addressed directly, people may vent their frustration behind each other’s backs instead of seeking constructive dialogue.
7. Lack of Engagement or Boredom
Employees who are disengaged or underchallenged may indulge in gossip or backbiting simply to pass time or feel involved.
8. Cultural or Organizational Norms
If gossip is deeply embedded in the workplace culture, even well-meaning employees may engage in backbiting because it’s considered normal or harmless.
9. Personal Grudges or Resentment
A history of personal disputes can lead individuals to harbor negative feelings and express them through backbiting rather than resolution.
10. Seeking Validation or Attention
Some individuals may backbite to bond with others, seek attention, or gain approval by aligning against a common target.
11. Lack of emotional intelligence
Some people can’t communicate directly, so they use gossip instead.
12. Fear of confrontation
It’s easier to vent behind someone’s back than to have an honest, respectful discussion.
13. Bias or lack of diversity and inclusion
Prejudices and groupthink can make others feel alienated or “different,” creating a breeding ground for judgment and gossip.
14. Power dynamics
Senior employees may expect newer ones to be treated like a subordinate, leading to passive-aggressive comments.
15. Attempts to expose incompetent workers
Some people seek ways to expose an incompetent worker, but in doing so, use manipulative or unethical tactics that turn into toxic behaviour.
Effects of Backbiting in the Workplace
Backbiting may feel like office politics, but its impact can be serious:
⚠️ Creates a toxic work environment
⚠️Reduces trust between team members
⚠️ Increases anxiety, stress, and low morale
⚠️ Slows down productivity and team collaboration
⚠️ Makes people feel isolated, unsupported, or even gaslighted at work
⚠️ Causes employees to doubt themselves or withdraw
The more it happens the more people disengage. You may also notice mockery and insults at work, especially in group settings where negative talk is normalized.
How to Deal with Backbiting at Work
🎯 If you’re the target:
- Stay professional – Don’t retaliate with gossip.
- Document patterns – Keep records if it becomes a serious issue.
- Have a direct conversation – Ask respectfully, “I’ve heard something that concerned me — can we talk about it?”
- Speak to a supervisor or HR – Especially if the situation affects your work or mental health.
- Protect your boundaries – If someone repeatedly disrespects you, even in subtle ways, limit unnecessary interaction. You may even wonder whether to continue greeting a coworker who ignores you — a valid concern when dealing with passive hostility.
- Be aware of toxic positivity in the workplace, which may dismiss your concerns as “just part of the culture.”
If you confront someone and they offer a backhanded apology, don’t take the bait. Keep your composure and continue advocating for a respectful environment.
How to Stop Backbiting (For Leaders)
🫵 If you’re a manager or team leader:
- Model transparency and respect – Culture flows from the top.
- Address issues early – Don’t wait until it becomes toxic.
- Distinguish between aggressiveness vs assertiveness when coaching employees.
- Use team meetings to reinforce values – Make it clear that gossip and backbiting are unacceptable.
- Use microaffirmations – Small gestures of appreciation help foster trust.
- Increase emotional intelligence training – Help employees recognize how their words and behaviours impact others.
And most importantly, don’t ignore subtle behaviours that chip away at team cohesion — things like covert bullying, exclusion, or belittling in the workplace.
Final Thoughts
Backbiting in the office isn’t just “talk.” It’s a form of workplace toxicity that damages teams, hurts feelings, and blocks growth. Whether you’re dealing with it directly, witnessing it, or in a position to stop it, addressing backbiting with honesty, empathy, and boundaries is the key to creating a healthier work culture.
With the right awareness, tools, and communication — even the most toxic environments can be transformed.
